The Diasporic Disconnect Amidst Urban Setting in Students

 Have I healed Or Not?

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity”. – Hippocrates

A moment is all it takes to change someone’s life either making or breaking them. Sometimes this change carries with you or it stops you from carrying forward. Making peace with the moment you go about things necessary for the day, maintain emotions, cultivate self esteem and  bask in relationships. However, facing difficulties in doing so after a prolonged time can retrace to a change you were unable to cope with in the past. Causing you immense distress and resorting to repression of the emotions related to it. This is unresolved trauma. I do not provide you with a diagnosis but a mere insight on the out-of-body experience that governs your life. World Health Organization (WHO) reports across 26 different countries 125,000 people have experienced trauma via a world mental health survey. Minding these are not actual numbers suggests its frequent prevalence. Although most people face difficulties coping through this temporarily, with self-care and time they get better. On the other hand for some even time is futile and the severity of it could reach conditions like  Post traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), dissociative disorders, depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Sincerely hoping to call your attention on the hidden sores and gain triumph over them  I bring out:

Signs you’re (still) struggling with trauma 

1. Are you someone who has Plan A, B,C,D & E with  micromanaging even the smallest of things? Losing control of a situation leaves you frustrated and lost. This is related to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability you may have experienced before resulting in attempts to take charge of your future too.

2. With schedules filled and tools ready to get the work you sit down to start, but you can’t get started. It’s as if there’s a block, gaps in your memory, blacking out often or finding it hard to keep your train of thought. Chances are there has been some psychological damage and your brain is asking for help.

3. Something good is coming your way, does this leave you suspicious of it? Starting to resist the change is not essentially a fear of failure but a low self regard, esteem and guilt outweighing your willpower to succeed.

4. “This does not falter me. I'm always ready.” Does this seem like something you’d say often? Chances are it isn’t you being unconventionally strong but suppressing your emotions has left a numbness in you that aids you in being ‘practical and not emotional’.

5. Hurting oneself or the others may not be international but grappling to name the thing on the inside projects hostility outside. You become volatile and start assessing normal situations as threatening trying to escape makes  it difficult to regulate the emotion. 

6. Helping others is a good thing but playing the hero you never got to others when not needed is just a means of  trying to change something which we know is not possible. In a way you’ll take away someone else's control which could make them feel helpless.

7. Changes are inevitable and  accommodating them is necessary. But does it feel that you maybe resisting them in a way by being absolute that this is not happening to me. This is a form of mental escape where physical one is not possible as you’re unable to cope with the overwhelming stress.

8. There are unexplained fears and emotions that do not point towards a source. This is likely rooted in an event you had struggled with and your  brain had stored it for a later time when you are well equipped to deal with it.

If you do resonate with this, I would like to show you the other side of the bridge. A glimpse of ‘it will be better’ while walking the ‘just not immediately’. So first things first,

Getting help

It is not mandatory to develop symptoms immediately after the event. They can also come about by a trigger in the future. Acknowledging and understanding your trauma can be tough as a lot of time may have passed since but the effects still linger. A consultation as early as possible may minimize long term effects  realigning to the  present, making room for self love, freedom and intimacy and help speed up the process of healing. For this, locate a  trained therapist informed on trauma having certifications like Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT trauma informed), clinical trauma professional, child trauma certification or certified Association of traumatic stress specialists. Working along with the therapist sticking to the therapy is of utmost significance.

What to expect 

To tell you what is not expected is the recounting of the trauma out loud. The recovery goal is not for things to go back to how it used to be as that is rarely feasible, but to provide a new balance for them and build resilience to take something positive from the hardships.

Think of these as checkpoints on your track of recovery.

1. Safety and Stabilization

it is grueling to regulate difficult emotions caused by everyday problems after a trauma experience, learning to manage these could help sooth the person and teach healthy amounts of control.The foremost and central point to recovery is re-establishment of safety as the experience often compromises an individual’s ability to feel safe with others and themselves. Working on how and what areas of life need to be stabilized  turns out to be extremely helpful. 

2. Remembrance & Mourning 

An appraisal of the event is focused on by putting words and emotions to it to make a meaning of it. The process is overlooked by a professional as they have to keep attending to safety and stabilization to help navigate the way through the phase to integrate the story of the trauma rather than a  response to  stress. It may not be necessary to spend a lot of time in this phase, the highlight is neither to ‘relive’ the trauma nor speak of it with no emotions attached. The timing and pacing are the key: if the person feels extremely overwhelmed and emotional at any part of the memory the safety and stabilization should be regained before moving forward. In essence the phase is marked with exploring and mourning associated  losses and providing space for the emotions.

3. Reconnection & Integration 

This phase is dynamic, redefining oneself to new meaning and progression. Trauma is integrated as a story in life and not the (dis) organizing force to it, no longer the only story defining them. The person learns to accept the impact and is ready to move towards self determined living. The witness to the victory over trauma could be seen in the survivors healing and growing through missions about talking to youth and peer mentoring.

Aftermath 

Coming out of an experience of sensitive nature is not a sudden dash but a slow walk. There can be instances that may make you think you aren’t doing it ‘right’ and you won’t make it, this is when you remind yourself how life has rejuvenated to a new purpose.

Conclusion 

Does your trauma hold you up or back? If it’s the latter I wish to bid you a fulfilling guide for truly seeing yourself from every gradient.

About the author

Ishika Ajay, member at PsyCreative Column

Psychology Committee, SDSOS, NMIMS

Ishika is a psychology undergraduate who aims to make healthcare more accessible and easier to navigate for people. A literature and arts enthusiast who enjoys writing, music and poetry. Her friends describe her as funny, witty and approachable. An old soul who has a generation gap with her own generation, she is a thinker who muses on purpose of one self and others. She aims to bring a change if not within society then with her dear ones.

Picture credits- Inc, Pixbay