We have always heard that childbirth is a magical experience, and the coming of a new life to the world is indeed a joyous occasion. But, in the happiness of it all, we often forget the kind of changes the mind and body of a mother would face. Of course, it isn’t necessary that every mother would have the same experiences, for some, it would take some months, for some a year, or even a little more to recover. But a few new mothers might come out of pregnancy with something to carry with them for a long, long time. Post-Partum PTSD.
What is PTSD?
PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder -, as the name suggests, is a disorder characterized by the failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. It may last for months or years, with triggers – a psychological stimulus that would bring up involuntary recall of the traumatic experience - bringing back the memories of the trauma along with severe emotional as well as physical reactions. Sometimes, with time and self-care, people are able to get better after a traumatic experience. But when it lasts for a long time and starts interfering with your day-to-day being, it can be termed as PTSD.
What is Post-Partum PTSD?
Post-partum PTSD, or P-PTSD is a mood disorder. If you are a mood disorder patient, your general spirit, emotional state, or what a layman would term ‘mood’, can stay distorted or inconsistent, and to the extent, where it would interfere with your ability of basic living. You might be very unhappy, and irritable, otherwise, you might have phases of depression alternating with euphoria. This disorder is not so popular, but for the new moms suffering this, it is very real and perturbing. It would also affect the way they would experience their motherhood. Most mothers would look back to the birth of their child gleefully, but not everyone. Approximately 9% of new moms go through Postpartum PTSD, and most often, this is caused by either real, or perceived trauma during childbirth, or post-delivery.
Trauma caused by childbirth! How?
Birth trauma is often psychological and emotional. It doesn’t necessarily have to be associated with what happened during the birthing process but can also be related to how the mother is feeling post-partum. Feeling afraid, helpless, or unheard during labor can be some reasons. Feeling shocked, guilty, numb, and sometimes even undergoing panic attacks may also be some symptoms of having experienced birth trauma. If you experience these, you aren’t alone, one in three women who give birth, experience birth trauma. A few situations that might cause birth trauma are long and painful labor; occurrence of a cord prolapse – umbilical cord falling out before the baby -; severe tear during parturition; an unexpected C-section; birth of a premature baby; the newborn requiring to be admitted into the NICU – neonatal intensive care unit -; giving birth to a stillborn; or a derailment in the birth plan. Of course, every human experiences things differently, and this might not be perceived as traumatic for all new moms, but for those who develop P-PTSD would. Another factor that would affect the chances of developing P-PTSD is having experienced trauma previously. Women who have undergone some kind of trauma, or even depression or anxiety for that matter, are found to be five times more prone to developing P-PTSD.
Effects of P-PTSD
P-PTSD can affect you in ways more than one. Let’s take a look into somethings that might happen with you, if you are a P-PTSD patient:
1. Reliving it. Reliving your traumatic experience is very common. Vivid flashbacks – so bad that you feel as if it is happening all over again -, intrusive thoughts and images, feeling extremely distressed upon coming across triggers of any sort, and sometimes even physical sensations like pain, swelling, nausea or trembling.
“You get a kind of looping of the memory in your mind all the time!” a P-PTSD patient said.
2. Feeling on the edge. You become extremely vigilant, find it hard to sleep, your behaviour could also turn aggressive, find it hard to concentrate on your day-to-day life, become jumpy, panicking at a slight reminder of the trauma, and indulging in self destructive behaviour.
3. Avoidance. Mothers undergoing P-PTSD often avoid facing any reminders of the trauma. Be it doctors, medical tools, thoughts about childbirth, or even their baby itself. You would cut-off from their emotions, feel detached from your body, and even resort to recreational substances.
4. Difficulty in dealing with your feelings. A general feeling of distrust develops within you. You don’t feel safe anywhere, feel like nobody understands you, and you go into a mode of self-blame. You might also feel overwhelming anger, sadness, guilt or shame.
5. Detached. A P-PTSD suffering mother doesn’t feel affectionate towards her child. She becomes detached from her baby, and people around her in general. “I had a traumatic birth. I was so petrified that my son would die that in my head it was easier to just not love him.” Claims a sufferer.
Identifying and coping with triggers.
To be able to identify triggers, we must know what they are. So, triggers are basically psychological stimuli that would bring back strong memories, stirring unpleasant emotions in you. Triggers can be internal – something you feel inside your body - and external – something or someone you might encounter throughout your day. They may be obvious or implicit and vary from person to person, and situation to situation. A few common triggers know people involved or near the event during its occurrence, revisiting the places of the traumatic event, particular feelings that mirror with those felt during the traumatic event, objects or things present during the traumatic experience, a particular smell or smoke since scents have a stronger relation to memory than other senses, sounds similar or same as those part of the traumatic event, and anniversaries and significant dates around that of the traumatic event.
While some people are aware of their triggers, someone may not know what might set them off. Some people can recognize the trigger provoked behaviour while others may not, and in such a case, help from professionals, family, and friends to identify them is advised or even required. Don’t run into a ‘flight or fight’ response when you feel triggered, rather adapt some healthy coping techniques like exercise, rest, therapy, meditation, being around positive people, joining support groups, eating more nutritious food – having environmental stimuli that would induce positive feelings like music and divert you from stressful and anxietal thoughts -, or reframing tour mindsets.
What males should do…
SUPPORT YOUR SPOUSE. That’s all you can do. P-PTSD is a serious mental condition that would be resolved with professional help only. At a time like this, all you can do is support your partner, be there for them. There will be times, when they would push you away from themselves, don’t be upset with them then. Pushing you away, getting angry at you, is their P-PTSD taking over them, try and differentiate between them. Don’t take it personally. Try to understand that they need you, even if their actions suggest otherwise. Therefore, in such times, it’s best for you to just listen to them and be their ‘safe space’ – listen to them talk about their feelings without judgement; validate their feelings without trying to ‘fix’ their issues; help them come out the self-blame cycle; assure them that with help, they will be better. Let’s look at a few things you can do for them at this time:
1. First of all, understand that P-PTSD is very real, so do not invalidate them with statements like ‘there’s nothing like P-PTSD’ or ‘stop acting like this. You’ve changed’, but rather try to understand what they may be going through.
2. Help them around the house.
3. Try and help them sleep well. Sleep disturbance due to nightmares and intrusive thoughts is common to a P-PTSD patient. Try to help them get better sleep.
4. Make sure they eat well.
5. P-PTSD sufferers might also fear that they would not be a good mom, try and reassure them that they would indeed do a fine job as a mother.
6. Make yourself available around the house, so your partner can rest well.
7. Your spouse may feel unlovable during this time. So, make sure they feel loved.
While you do all this, it is also necessary to understand that your mental health is important too. Don’t forget yourself. You matter too. If you want to be someone else’s support system, you need to be strong yourself. Take out time for yourself, take care of yourself, because it is a very real possibility that you might be a caretaker of two for a while. Ask for help from other people that you and your partner trust. You don’t have to do this alone. Join support groups for new dads. Sharing your experiences might help.
Self-care during P-PTSD.
Self-care is an important aspect of one’s well-being even if they are not undergoing issues of any kind. So, for a P-PTSD sufferer, they are of the utmost importance. So, a few things you can do as self-care:
1. Use support groups. Confide in someone. If not support groups, go to someone you love, talk about your feelings. Don’t bottle them up.
2. Identify and understand your triggers. Observe yourself in different situations and try to figure out what triggers you. Try to then overcome or cope with them.
3. Look after your physical health. Find the energy to take care of yourself, even if you find it exhausting. Looking after your physical health. Even though seems insignificant, it is very important.
4. Get professional help. Even though everything else catalyzes your healing process, you will need professional help. It is a safe space. Don’t be conscious to ask for help.
5. Take time. Don’t worry if you need time for recovery. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t rush or push yourself into anything too fast, too soon.
6. And at last, always remember that you are an amazing, strong person and you will get through this too! Never doubt yourself to being able to pull yourself out of it.
About the Author
Prisha Gohil, a member at PsyCreative Column
Psychology Committee, SDSOS, NMIMS
Prisha Gohil, born and raised in Rajkot, Gujarat, is a 17-year-old, full of youth and quirky enthusiasm, something clearly visible in her writing. She is currently studying psychology at SDSOS, Mumbai. Her biggest achievements are her family and friends, who have always been an inspiration to her. She is full of energy when she is awake, which she rarely is. Her dream is to sleep but does some productive work in between here and there while reaching her final goal. Communication is one of the best skills she possesses, that she has nurtured over time. Confident, charismatic, hard-working, and passionate are words that would appropriately describe her.
Picture credits - Shutterstock, Inc.
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