Personality mirroring
Have you ever found yourself mimicking the accent, fashion sense, or certain traits of your favourite character from the last show that you just watched? I’m sure most of us have experienced this. This is not only limited to the content we watch. Acquiring or imitating the gestures, vocal inflexions, expressions, opinions, and attitudes of someone else is called mirroring. In layman's terms, you mirror the behaviour or actions of the other person.
This behaviour is more often seen around us but goes unnoticed. You must have seen children mimicking their parent’s actions, and words. Young children tend to imitate their elder siblings as well. If your elder sibling is being praised by your parents for a particular action, you are also likely to copy that. If your friend posted an aesthetic picture of hers that caused her to become the talk of the town, you are also likely to post a similar picture if you desire that attention too. Most of the time, you try to pick up the attitude of your peers not because you admire it but because you want to be accepted. In other domains, a salesperson tries to exhibit behaviours similar to that of the customer’s to form a good rapport and increase sales; we interpret and predict others’ behaviours by reading body language signals and facial expressions. Such behaviours are what collectively describe personality mirroring. People can adopt mirroring behaviours consciously or unconsciously; it can either be a deliberate act to gain acceptance, favourable responses and benefits or, it can lie in the natural interests of a person.
When we think of a leader, qualities like confidence, strategic and critical thinking, clear vision, communication skills, accountability, active listening etc. come to our mind. These people have a great impact on individuals as most people are attracted to these personalities. When you interact with such people, you will find yourselves trying hard to become like them. One possible reason could be that what you attract is at some subliminal level what you want for yourself. For example, in corporate settings, an employee who wants to become more confident, accountable, or better at communication is more prone to follow and acquire the qualities of his/her boss. They may observe the non - verbal gestures, voice tone, body language and posture more carefully and then try to produce similar behavioural changes. Another example could be an introverted office employee who tries to mimic the behaviour of his extroverted friend by throwing an after-party for his office colleagues. As he tries to move out of his comfort zone, he may build on better connections and social interactions. This will help in the long run in his workplace. Acquiring and mirroring traits like empathy and active listening can help in the formation and development of better interpersonal relationships. Consequently, mirroring personality traits can contribute to the individual’s personal growth, improved social connections and enhancement. However, this isnt beneficial in every scenario.. It has its own drawbacks.
What if I party every weekend because all my friends do but it doesn’t comfort or interest me? What if I listen to a song because it’s no.1 on a billboard but doesn’t soothe me? What if I walk or talk like some character from a show but it doesn’t describe me? Why if I copy the dressing style of a known celebrity because he’s been the topic of the month but doesn’t define my own fashion sense? What if I side with my boss’s opinion but it doesn't seem right to me? What if I become a night owl because conversations and memes regarding not being able to sleep at night seem relatable but don’t actually relate to me? What if I study science because my parents appreciated and loved my brother for the same but doesn’t define my passion?
These what-ifs are what’s scary. To fit in society, to gain external validation, to be accepted by your peers and family, sometimes we forget the extent to which we are being influenced. As a result, an individual may lose out on his/her own individual personality. It is usual to adopt some habits and behaviours of the people around you; habits can be good as well as bad. As humans, we are born to learn, adapt and adjust to new things, whether it is information/knowledge or qualities of an individual. However, personality is something unique to you. It surely is a combination of different traits, influenced by both nature and nurture. The fact that whatever you are imitating is helping you in one way or another and does not hamper your needs and interests, mirroring is good enough. The moment you start questioning your motives, behaviours, actions, emotional display or anything like that is concerning. Awareness and mindfulness is the key to keeping a check on your personal traits.
This behaviour is more often seen around us but goes unnoticed. You must have seen children mimicking their parent’s actions, and words. Young children tend to imitate their elder siblings as well. If your elder sibling is being praised by your parents for a particular action, you are also likely to copy that. If your friend posted an aesthetic picture of hers that caused her to become the talk of the town, you are also likely to post a similar picture if you desire that attention too. Most of the time, you try to pick up the attitude of your peers not because you admire it but because you want to be accepted. In other domains, a salesperson tries to exhibit behaviours similar to that of the customer’s to form a good rapport and increase sales; we interpret and predict others’ behaviours by reading body language signals and facial expressions. Such behaviours are what collectively describe personality mirroring. People can adopt mirroring behaviours consciously or unconsciously; it can either be a deliberate act to gain acceptance, favourable responses and benefits or, it can lie in the natural interests of a person.
When we think of a leader, qualities like confidence, strategic and critical thinking, clear vision, communication skills, accountability, active listening etc. come to our mind. These people have a great impact on individuals as most people are attracted to these personalities. When you interact with such people, you will find yourselves trying hard to become like them. One possible reason could be that what you attract is at some subliminal level what you want for yourself. For example, in corporate settings, an employee who wants to become more confident, accountable, or better at communication is more prone to follow and acquire the qualities of his/her boss. They may observe the non - verbal gestures, voice tone, body language and posture more carefully and then try to produce similar behavioural changes. Another example could be an introverted office employee who tries to mimic the behaviour of his extroverted friend by throwing an after-party for his office colleagues. As he tries to move out of his comfort zone, he may build on better connections and social interactions. This will help in the long run in his workplace. Acquiring and mirroring traits like empathy and active listening can help in the formation and development of better interpersonal relationships. Consequently, mirroring personality traits can contribute to the individual’s personal growth, improved social connections and enhancement. However, this isnt beneficial in every scenario.. It has its own drawbacks.
What if I party every weekend because all my friends do but it doesn’t comfort or interest me? What if I listen to a song because it’s no.1 on a billboard but doesn’t soothe me? What if I walk or talk like some character from a show but it doesn’t describe me? Why if I copy the dressing style of a known celebrity because he’s been the topic of the month but doesn’t define my own fashion sense? What if I side with my boss’s opinion but it doesn't seem right to me? What if I become a night owl because conversations and memes regarding not being able to sleep at night seem relatable but don’t actually relate to me? What if I study science because my parents appreciated and loved my brother for the same but doesn’t define my passion?
These what-ifs are what’s scary. To fit in society, to gain external validation, to be accepted by your peers and family, sometimes we forget the extent to which we are being influenced. As a result, an individual may lose out on his/her own individual personality. It is usual to adopt some habits and behaviours of the people around you; habits can be good as well as bad. As humans, we are born to learn, adapt and adjust to new things, whether it is information/knowledge or qualities of an individual. However, personality is something unique to you. It surely is a combination of different traits, influenced by both nature and nurture. The fact that whatever you are imitating is helping you in one way or another and does not hamper your needs and interests, mirroring is good enough. The moment you start questioning your motives, behaviours, actions, emotional display or anything like that is concerning. Awareness and mindfulness is the key to keeping a check on your personal traits.
Author’s note
Saloni Bansal is a second-year B.sc. Applied Psychology student. She is intrigued by the idea of how, while writing down your thoughts, you become aware of and acknowledge new things. It gives her great insight and serves as a conduit for her to explore her beliefs and thoughts. That is how you can better understand and accept yourself. Other than that, humour and adventure are what keep her going.
Comments
Post a Comment