Culture and Womanhood - Friends or Foes?

 

 Most of us grew up listening to stories or watching animated films that were based on cultural epics. Throughout this read, we will try and figure out what implications a strong religious influence has on a person belonging to a specific gender. 

“Dharma”- an ideal standard of defining a woman’s life? 

Throughout the manusmriti era– manusmriti, a book written by the ‘first lawgiver’ Manu stating rules for humankind, starting from around the 2nd century BCE-–women have been treated differently. Starting with the absence of basic rights and the denial of authority over oneself, to the need for constant protection. Women, as children were supposed to be protected by their fathers; as adults, by their husbands and as widows, by their elder sons. In my opinion, this produces a two-way effect: women might start feeling helpless, stop believing in their capabilities and accept the authority of a male figure. This could be one possible reason that makes women engage in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Two, it burdens men with immense amounts of pressure and unhealthy expectations that may eventually either lead to toxic masculinity or extreme amounts of helplessness. The Manusmriti era was highly influenced by the caste system making women from the ‘lower castes’ more vulnerable to being ill-treated- leaving them with basically no rights! 

Even though nobody follows principles from Manusmriti in the present times methodically, the impact of it is still seen across Indian society. Often reflected in practices that happen under the radar of casual sexism. Casual sexism, in simple words, is nothing but normalised sexist behaviour. 

The notion of “Respect” and the need to rethink.

Indians are taught to respect women from the beginning. Not to forget, India is a country that takes pride in its idol worship tradition wherein we pray to goddesses and call them ‘Devi Maa’. 

It is not unjustified to worship women figures, especially the ones that portray motherhood, it is a good practice. However, do we collectively celebrate womanhood? And if yes, to what extent? Under the light of patriarchy, deep-rooted within an Indian mindset, a woman is a respectable figure till she follows societal norms, otherwise, respect for her is lost. Now, especially in a culture that chooses to glorify motherhood to an unhealthy extent, it becomes extremely difficult for women, as mothers to act on their choices considering they are put on a pedestal and expected to act like divine figures making no mistakes and doing just well for everyone—even when it is human to make mistakes, mothers are at no mercy! On the other hand, it becomes extremely difficult for women who choose not to become mothers or choose to have children without going through ‘conventional’ procedures to bear children made by society (eg- adoption, surrogacy, etc) —they are looked down upon and even dehumanised! It is saddening that society burdens women with so many roles to play that it forgets to celebrate the womanhood that binds it all. We need to rethink how we view women and on what grounds we respect them. A woman should be respected for her choices- irrespective of what they are. 

From the Bhakti movement

During the large-scale Bhakti movement, somewhere around the 7th to 8th century BCE, we saw many saints come up with their own worldviews, and cultural teachings were modified and simplified. People found new motives to live, new practices to connect to the divine being and new perspectives to look at one another. During this period, we also saw how people broke out of oppressive systems and found a new respect for human lives. Here, we also saw many women break out of the traditional roles and caste rules and become saints. One known example of this is Saint Meera, who devoted herself completely to the worship of Lord Krishna. For someone to break out of the traditional societal norms, and do something unlikely and unexpected of a woman, shows exemplary courage and faith in oneself to exercise one’s choices and stand by them. 

Bold choices and standing by them

In a world where women are constantly judged for what they do and questioned on why they are doing so, our culture has told us tales where women boldly put their terms and conditions forward and live life on their terms. One such tale is that of Goddess Ganga on her agreement to get married. As she is described as the free-spirit kind, she had laid out a condition that at any point in the marriage, she would not be questioned by Shantanu, her husband, for any of her actions and if he did, she would leave him upon answering the question asked. To me, this is something that all women could collectively learn, to never refrain from asking for what we need and to prioritise ourselves even in relationships. For generations, women have been taught by the world to compromise in a marriage, to find happiness in the family’s happiness and act in ways their in-laws want them to when it comes to fixing a marriage alliance. This part of the tale should be a lesson from our culture for many women who hold their guard down in such times. Another such story is of Sita, who has given us multiple instances where she made a bold choice and stood by them. Her decision of accompanying her husband throughout their forest years, enduring all the hardships or be it raising her sons all by herself. She gives strength to women who decide to take up paths that have hurdles to cross and teaches us that we are all capable of magnitudes, individually. 

Putting it in perspective

Does culture make people or do people make cultures? There shall always be multiple opinions on this question. A never-ending debate. My take on this is, both are highly interlinked, our views shape our culture and our beliefs are shaped by our culture, both in moderation. In my opinion, it is not the culture to be wholly blamed, it is also what we choose to glorify and what we choose to ignore. For when we glorify a Savitri for being completely devoted to her husband and having no other aspect to herself, over glorifying a Chitrangada, the warrior princess of Manipur during the Mahabharata era, who was described to be as strong as Arjuna, it becomes a representative of the kind of perspective we have taken forward. It is not the absence of strong-headed, heroic women figures in the tales and fables of our culture, it is how they have become lost gems. If these tales were taken forward we’d not see generations of women second-guessing and guilt-tripping themselves for exercising their choices. An entire generation of women went through social evils like sati- the act of sacrificing oneself by sitting on the funeral pyre of her husband- because the notion was to attach their complete identity and purpose of life around the person they are married to and once that is gone, one seldom has the purpose to live. To justify its relevance in modern times, in many parts of the country, widows are to live separately and sacrifice any means of looking conventionally beautiful, for example, giving up wearing colours and jewellery, letting go of one’s hair and eating food that is supposed to be Satvik. For many women, this was and is the way of life after losing their husbands and for many, there wasn’t a way out of all this. The emotional loss of losing a partner combined with social pressures has put generations of women in despair, which is why we should keep in check how humane we make our culture or vice versa. 

Conclusion

To conclude, this blog is not representative of a culture entirely, it does however analyse how certain schools of thought influence prejudices on gender as well as reduce the gender inequality gap. Finally, the answer to whether culture and womanhood are friends or foes, well, is mixed and very much subjective. As we read, certain parts of our culture are inspiring and certain can be worked on. It is like a reflection in the mirror, it isn't perfect and it is not supposed to be, what we take out from it and how we interpret it matters the most. Hopefully, we all take something good from the plate and make this world a more equal place for not just women but everyone to coexist. 

About the Author,

Anaika Desai, Subhead, PsyCreative column

Psychology committee, SDSOS, NMIMS.

Anaika is currently 18 years old and studying applied psychology. She believes a little kindness does the right magic. She is very inquisitive, picks up new hobbies occasionally, loves petting cats, and puts all her love in a batter and bakes it into beautiful cakes. She organises her thoughts on a piece of paper and calls it spending quality time with herself. She hopes one day the world will win through love and kindness, till then she will keep doing her part. She has a warrior spirit and will rise above the hurdles life puts her through, at her own pace though. She aspires to see herself as a psychologist one day and for that she works on herself every day a little bit.