Gender fluidity: Are they really so wrong?

One of the first things we notice about any individual is their gender. Is it a male or female? Is it someone that we maintain our distance with someone we make friends with, or someone that can potentially be of romantic interest to us? Gender goes a long way to answer these questions. It used to be as simple as males and females earlier. However, as we go further, with people getting more aware about sex, gender, and the basic concept of choice, something now popularly known as gender fluidity has quickly gained traction, especially in the western part of the world. Here in India, we’re still more in touch with our more conservative roots, and unaccepting of this. 

So, what is this? What do we mean when we say gender fluidity? To understand this, we first need to understand the concept of gender identity and expression of gender. Gender identity refers to one’s internal sense of their gender. They may feel masculine, feminine, both, and neither. It can remain the same as assigned to them at birth or may change over the course of life. This is so because as people gain a broader sense of the concept of gender and the world around them, they choose to use different terms to describe and identify themselves. Gender expression refers to how people present their gender to themselves and the world around them. They may use clothes, language, makeup, hairstyles, pronouns, body language, and much more to express their gender. Gender fluidity refers to change over time in a person’s gender expression, or gender identity, or both. This may be on expression, but not in identity, in identity and not in expression, or change in both together. This can act as a way for individuals to explore with their gender identities before choosing to adopt one, while others may choose to remain ‘gender-fluid’ for their life. However, as gender identity is extremely personal and specific to individuals, people may see and use the term ‘gender fluidity’ differently. A person who is genderfluid may express their gender in any way they feel comfortable. There is no one-size-fits-all way for genderfluid people to express their identity.

 

Gender fluidity is often confused with being non-binary. However, non-binary is an umbrella term for any gender identity outside of the gender binary, meaning that gender can only exist in terms of male or female.

Gender fluid is a type of non-binary gender identity. Three more identities under non-binary are genderqueer, genderflux, and transgenders, each different from genderfluid.

         A genderflux refers to individual experiences of gender that vary in terms of intensity. This is not the same as genderfluid because, they feel a difference in the intensity of a single gender that they feel. They do not feel a change in their gender entirely – the gender in question remains the same. Thus, an individual may be boyflux, or girlflux, but they keep feeling like they’re too much of a boy/girl or too less of a boy/girl.

         Transgenders refer to anyone whose identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth – biologically. Some may identify as man or woman, while others may identify under non-binary genders. They may also decide to identify as genderfluid and choose not to use the term ‘transgender’ for themselves.

         Lastly, a genderqueer person is an umbrella term for someone not identifying with traditional gender norms, including identities, expression, roles, or expectations. The terms non-binary and genderqueer can be and are used interchangeably. Genderqueer may or may not be seen as falling under a non-binary identity.

         Now, choosing your own unconventional expression of gender does also have a distressing side effect. People who are gender fluid, or non-binary in general, experience ‘gender dysphoria’ referring to the psychological distress resulting from an incongruence between one’s assigned sex and the one they wish to express. Though it may begin in childhood, they may experience it until after puberty or later. The DSM-V-TR provides an overarching diagnosis for the same with different diagnosis for children, adolescents, and adults. This is majorly a result of the high levels of discrimination, victimization and prejudice faced by non-binary individuals. This also leads to a lot of negative self-talk, ultimately leading them to have a negative self-image for themselves. As children they may be faced with a lot of bullying and discrimination in school which may also lead to some serious adverse mental health conditions.

         The first step towards helping them however, is to support them and knowing how to behave with them. Allyship is a way of supporting and being inclusive of all gender identities. For that, there are a few things that we can do:

-         Introduce ourselves with pronouns, display pronouns on social media platforms, and emails, and asking others for their preference of pronouns.

-         Using inclusive language.

-         Avoid assuming someone else’s gender based on appearance.

-         Referring to people in the way they have specified.

-         Respect others’ gender identities, even if we may not understand it or agree with it conceptually.

We can also help someone who is genderfluid to discover their identities, and help them with their process in a supportive and constructive manner. Some things we can do to support a genderfluid individual can be:

-         Educating ourselves about the various gender identities and understanding that gender exists in a spectrum.

-         Listening to an individual’s experience and accepting their definition of gender.

-         Being patient and open to a person trying to discover, identify, and develop their gender identity.

-         Supporting decisions that a person may choose to affirm ther gender.

-         Using and connecting others to resources and guides explaining gender identities and expressions.

-         Suggesting support groups or networks if people want to connect with others of similar gender identities.

At the end of the day, it is important for us to realize that even they are humans just like us. They are lost on their path to finding acceptance and ridiculing or humiliating them, bringing them down is only going to worsen their situation. There is nothing that cannot be made better with positive affirmations and unconditional positive regard.  If only we make them subjects to our love, kindness and compassion instead of discrimination and humiliation, we would be able to help them in ways unimaginable. Let’s stick up for each other, and make the world an equally beautiful place for everyone!!!

 

 References

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/gender-fluidity-what-it-means-and-why-support-matters  

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/genderfluid#pronouns

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria

About the Author

Prisha Gohil Head of PsyCreative Column

Psychology Committee, SDSOS, NMIMS

Prisha Gohil, born and raised in Rajkot, Gujarat, is an 18-year-old, full of youth and quirky enthusiasm, something clearly visible in her writing. She is currently studying psychology at SDSOS, Mumbai. Her biggest strengths are her family and friends, who have always been an inspiration to her. She is full of energy when she is awake, which she rarely is. Her dream is to sleep but does some productive work in between here and there while reaching her final goal. Communication is one of the best skills she possesses, that she has nurtured over time. Confident, charismatic, hard-working, and passionate are words that would appropriately describe her.